Sassy's World

Ok so last weekend hubs and I had to do some errands and we ran by the mall before hitting walmart. Boo loves the pet store in the mall so we tend to visit there quite often so he can see the ugliest reptiles on plant earth. So we take our time and walk through the store and I have learned my lesson on getting close to any aqaurium if I can't see what's it in. One time we were in there boo wanted to see what was in this bottom tank. So I squat down and looked and seen nothing...Then THWAP...the sumbitch come out from under a tree and smacked the glass. It was a HUGE mother of a snake. A boa I belive. It caused me to scream like you were tearing my limbs off and fall backwards on my ass. The entire store cracked up. Yeah laugh it up suckers!

So when we were there this past weekend and Boo asked what was in the tank and I took a quick glance and said nope, I'm not getting down to try and find anything. I dont care if its a tank full of gold I'm NOT doing. The pet store worker assured me there was no snakes (he remembered me from last time the asshole). I didnt care I was NOT squatting to look. Well me being the SUCKER that I am read the tank said some funky ass lizard so I figured what the hell and squat down. THWAP....The sumbitch hit the tank with his fuckin tail. Again I fell backwards this time I didnt scream. I will not do it a third time. Anywho the employee asked if I was interested in buying it...I looked at him like he was from another planet..."did you see what he just did to me???? And you want me to buy him????" Then I was told the price...499.99 FOR A LIZARD. So after I almost fainted from shock the guy tells me to check out another tank in which there was a tortoise. Yeah a middle sized ulgy tortoise with a price tag written on the aqaurium 3499.95

Me: You mean to tell me that its almost 4 grand for a freakin turtle
Him: Its a tortoise ma'am
Me: I dont give a holy hell what it is....4 THOUSAND DOLLARS?????
Him: well not exactly
Me: Close enough...I'm NOT paying 4 dollars for a tortoise never mind 4 with a few zeros unless that fuckin thing is shitting gold. If that's the case I'll be back tomorrow with your 4000.

THEN he tells me that I outta check out the birds if I think that 3499.95 for a tortise is alot of money. So I did just that..

We walk over and there is a beautiful white parrot like bird with a orange glob of feathers on his head. The bird talks to me then

"Hey sweetcheeks"

I looked at hubs...Oh I want this bird...

The employee says to me he's only 9995.95

This is where I choke

TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A BIRD???????????????????????

Ok yeah granted the bird will live longer then me and all but I'm not paying that much for a bird and I dont care how nice of compliments he gives me, and he's gonna whisper sweet nothings in my ear.......

I looked at the employee...I didnt pay 10,000 for my husband I aint about to pay 10,000 for a fuckin bird...

Sheesh

~*~*~ CHOW~*~*~

Well since I've been tagged by Newfieswoman to do this meme ~ I guess I shouldn't spoil the fun....So here goes....

1. Christmas Tree..Pine or Cedar???

I only like fake trees cause I can put it up November 1st :D

2. Name Two dumb things ya did as a kid..

Well damn....I can only pick 2???? Let me see...I guess drinking under age and......dropping out of school 4 times *even though I did graduate WITH My class*

3. What foods did yer mum make as a kid that you will NEVER make??

1. Spaghetti
2. Manacotti
3. Chilli

4. Describe the place in yer head that you go to too calm down???

I dont go nowhere in my head ~ I just go to bed if it gets too bad

5. Have you ever seen a ghost or something you cant explain??

well...I was in the shower one day just after my papa died and I seen him IN the shower with me and I freaked out *was probably just because I was thinking of him though*

6. If money an image didnt matter what would you do for a living??

Porn star??? Nah ~ I'd just be a regular actress....I'ld love to get up close and personal with the hotties :D

7. Did you ever fall off a horse an get right back on??

No cause if I ever fell off a horse I'd never get back on...I love horseback riding though

8. What name did you call a sibling that was sure to start a fight.

Nothing cause being 7 years older then him caused enough fights

9. Describe the events surrounding yer first alcholic drink

um, I was 15...at a party....got drunk...and had sex for the first time the same night *sobs*

10. Do ya have a deep dark secret???

I have a few yes...and they will remain just that :)

11. Ever had a wild animal as a pet?

I'm married need I say more

12. Would you ever a shoot a deer?

IT would depend on the situation....If I had to so that I could survive yes...Just as a sport nope

13. Do your return the money if you get too much change?

If I realize before I get home yes

14. What Puzzles you?

Life
Men
The world in general

15. How do/did you act towards someone you had/have a crush on??

I just act like me with alot more flirting then I normally do lol

16. What makes your cry??

I use to cry pretty easy...Now I only cry if I get really frusterated, death, and sappy ass movies

17. Whats the best bargain you ever bought at a gargage sale??

Nothing cuase I dont go to them

18. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck??

IF a woodchuck could chuck wood...So I dunno????

19. If no-one was watching would you run a stop sign?

Hell no, cause the friggen cherries would catch me with their snipers out there somewhere...Cops love me remember

20. Do you belive in Hell??

I live in hell

21. What material possession do you value the most??

um...I really dont value much other then my computer????

22. Which day is better ~~ Friday or Sunday???

Sunday ~its my do nothing day

23. Do you read a book more than once??

no, half the time I dont get to finish a book once

24. What is the greatest problem with today's society??

The people in it

25. How old were you when you first touched a member of the opposite sex's private parts??

I was 14....but I didnt have actual sex till 15

26. Would you ever skydive

I would like to....But the though scares the shit out of me...I have bungee jumped :D

27. Name 3 songs significant to yer romantic life an tell why??

I dont have none :(

28 Would you have plastic surgery?

Um...sure

29. Does bigfoot/sasquatch/yehti exist?

He sure does

30. Are you a follower or a leader?

Mostly a leader....somtimes a follower

31. What's the worst thing you did when you were a kid?

Nothing I was a good kid...I wasn't bad till I hit 13

32. List three jobs you would never want to do

1. Sewer worker
2. Taxi driver
3. Cop

33. Coke or Pepsi

I collect coke items but I drink pepsi

34. Where would you live if you could move your family, friends, and job there?

Either Hawaii or Italy

35. Is three really a crowd?

Depends on the situation ~ if its sexual then yes your damn straight it is...other then that nope not usually

36. What kind of interpersonal interaction repulses you?

HUH????

37. Who would you rather spend an hour with, a writer or an entertainer?

Entertainer ~ and it would be Paul walker or Vin Deisel baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

38. Which calendar appeals to you:

Any with hot lookin men in it...Dolphins and coca cola are good too

39. What would you do if life gave you lemons?

Suck it up ~ Life always gives me freakin lemons...Maybe that's why I'm so sour

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Nope...Infatuation and lust maybe...Some I'm sure have love at first sight

41. Did you ever wish on a falling star, and have the wish come true?

Nope

I tag anyone who wants to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~*~Chow~*~*~

I found my way back to you all...Did you miss me LOL.

Nothing much has been going on around here other then family trouble and I really dont think ya'll wanna hear about it so I just stay away. Have no fear I still read you all...I just dont piss and moan here..

So yesterday mom ordered my hubs white Christmas tree so that is now OUR christmas present. What I'd like to know is how come I..Yes ME...Got shafted. I didnt want a white christmas tree and now that is my present too blah...Remind me to thanks hubs later when I fill is stocking with something nasty.

Anywho we went to walmart yesterday. I'm so pissed at walmart that I WISH we had a target or a kmart in Canada that I could go to. I went and asked the girl if the stuff that was in my cart would fit on layaway because they are pretty packed back there. She told me YES. So I went and finished my shopping and went back to the layaway counter to lay the stuff away and Jordan was there. He tells me that I can NOT layaway the stuff and I'm like why the fuck not Holly just told me that I could. Yeah well HOlly is not here and I am saying no he tells me because there is no room. So that would of been fine BUT....There was the exact same stuff on the counter from the lady that was there in front of me and he put that stuff on layaway no problem. I was pissed. I couldn't find a manager or nothing so I said that's fine I'll go home and call in a complaint. That is exactly what I did. Now the kid no longer works there and when I go back out I can lay my stuff away.

So.....I must go for now and get some stuff done but I promise not to disappear for days at a time no more

~~~Chow

You know for the most part I'm a pretty fun, loving, laid back 28 year old SAHM of a 2 year. UNTIL you piss in my cheerios. Then I'm being a raging fuckin lunatic. Lastnight I went from sweet sarcastic Sassy to You-better-lock-me-the-fuck-up-before-I-kill-someone Sassy. Hell yes I was livid. Here is what went down.

Its about 1:30AM and I'm sitting on the couch minding my own buisness...Pissed mind you because Emmitt Smith won Dancing with the stars and he had the same partner that Drew Lachey won with Last year...MMMMMMMMMMMMM Drew Lachey...Anyways back to the story.....

So I'm sitting on the couch when I hear this ruckus outside. A girl screaming and a guy yelling and another girl freakin out. I'm thinkin wtf is going on at this time of night. So I go to the door and this is what I see. A guy is holding a beer bottle (I think) above his head, he's got the one girl pinned to the ground and about to hit the girl on the ground. The second girl is on his back flippin out on him to leave the other girl alone. At first I was scared shitless but thought if I didnt do something and fast that poor girl was gonna wear that beer bottle. So without even thinking again I open the door and yell "GET THE FUCK OFF HER" and I picked up the phone and called 911. The bastard threw the bottle at MY front door. I opened the door and asked the girls if they were ok and the girl on the ground was throwing up from fear (Or too much booze) and the other girl noddeed. THEN he turned around and in one hit punched her square in the face and she hit the ground. So now my neighbour comes out and the 2 of us are out there. Hes got ahold of the guy and I go to make sure the young girl is ok. Her nose no doubt is busted....

THEN

The mother fucker SPIT IN MY FACE. I go to help her and she spits in my face. I pin her to the ground with my knee on her chest and I'm losing my freakin mind. I can't stand being spit on. So I am on the ground on top of her freakin losing my mind WHEN the cops show up. So I'm thinkin wonderful I'm gonna be busted now because I'm on top of this idiot and her nose is broken.

Turns out...The guy was screwing the girl that he was gonna smack with the bottle when his girlfriend come home...which was the girl that spit in my face. So there was a huge ass fight.

I didnt get in trouble although the cop was trying to bust be for breakin her nose but the other girl and my neighbour saved my ass on that one...

So lesson learned. Next time there is a fight...Continue watching TV....

~~~~Chow

PS...Another crack house on my street got busted..Only 2 left to go :D

Oh you are all NOT going to believe this...

Today I'm outside talkin to my neighbour 2 doors down and out cause blondie. So I says oh lookie who is outside. My neighbour yells out to her and she answers back. I'm like that's not here because this girl is talking in such a monotone voice it could of put you to sleep.

LIGHTBULB OVERHEAD!!!

Me: holy shit there is 2 of them
Him: There can't be
Me: Theres gotta be cause that is NOT blondie the bimbo.
Him: This is unfreakin real
Me: Your not kiddin

Next thing you know out come blondie. I'm all she's a fuckin Twin....Double the blonde bimboness just what we need. So my neighbour tells me he's gonna go over and scope it out. I tell him to call me when he gets home and tell me the scoop.

So he goes over and calls me when he gets home and tells me that yes they are twins and they are the same IQ level. So lordy lordy above I get double the fun :D

So I'm sure the fun will really begin now

On a good note....I'm back on Jay's blog list :D

~~Chow

Well so ya I figured it out YAY!!!!

See my blogroll is all back and fixed. And I was gone on my blogreads this morning to notice that Jay at Cynical Bastard has forgotten to add me back to his blogroll *sobs*. Maybe he dont like me no more :(.

Anyways its the same shit different day here. The cops were here lastnight. Not at my house exactly but out in the middle of the street. I hear this commotion lastnight and peep my nose out the curtain to see not one, not two but THREE police cars which in this town is like the whole on duty police force in a town with about 80,000 people. (I'm kidding) but anyways they were on my street. So I'm just dying to know what is going on so I run to the phone and call my neighbour.

Me: Hey what's happening outside
Him: They busted blondie
Me; WHAT...For what..
Him: Prostitution
Me: WHOOT...she put her blowjob juice to work and got caught. What an ass
Him: {fits of laughter} Sassy your killin me
Me: Yeah I know I have that effect on people
Him: She was busted with 4 men
Me: FOUR???? She got some extra holes we werent blessed with
Him: {choke, hack, snort} SASSY STOP
Me: Oh you love me and you know it
Him: yeah yeah
Me: K dude gotta go and watch her come out in cuffs
Him: Chow babe!

So I run back to the door and they haul her out with nothing but a towel. She's not in her house she's in the one next door and I'm dying laughing because she is screaming at the cops. Sleeping with four men isn't against the law, I only took 500 bucks from them so its not like I got rich of them either. I went out to clean off the front porch because I just had to get a better listen. Then one guy pipes up. ITs not against the law to sleep with four men, hell you can sleep with 400 men at a time. I Mumble "Thats a whole lotta hole's" but getting paid IS against the law. She says NOW YOU TELL ME. I'm like WTF you didnt know that lol. Anywho the cop pipes up...That just makes you a slut.

I had to RUN inside because I busted that much I almost puked WAY TO GO POLICE! They got a point in my book.

Now if you can believe this....SHES HOME

She got a fine, a slap, and a went home

She probably used the blowjob juice on teh police for a treat...MY BAD...I need to go to my room. Anyone wanna send me????

~~~~CHOW

PS...for those of you that wanna know what this blowjob juice is all about...Its lotion that you rub on your pleasure pleaser. Your hubs will lay back and get all hot (litterally) and will enjoy a bj alot better, he heats up, it tastes good and all is good :D

So yeah!

I changed the layout on my blog. Lost my blogroll and everything and now I just have to figure out how to fix it. Hmmm.....

I will still blog and do my stuff. But at sometimes it could be a mess while i figure it out

~~~~CHOW

That is how I feel today...Just plain blah...

Normally at this time of year I'm happy, non stressed got my depression under control. This year??? Nope not such luck. When things go bad here at my house they go real bad.

First off hubs has gotten some sort of lung problem they diagnosed with asthma since working at the factory he works at. This causes these damn flare ups that cause his breathing to be so bad I cry for hours thinking he's gonna drop dead on me.

Then he become sensitized to the paint at work which caused his skin to break out in a rash that looked like he had the worlds worst sunburn and he missed all kinds of work, we couldn't hug him or nothing. It really sucked.

THEN he hurt his back....He was off work almost 2 weeks becuase of it and for 2 days he was flat on his back in bed. WHich sucked

NOW...He has all 3 of them all at once and I'm ready to just sit and give up. I try to smile I really do but it just dont work. ah well such is life I suppose.


Then I had my hopes up on getting a new laptop camera printer deal from a rent to own place, yeah yeah I know they are money theives and all that good jazz but when you aren't made of money sometimes its the only way to go...Then today I find out they wont let me have it and I've been renting to own stuff from them for over 2 years. Assholes

So I'm gonna go throw me a pity party and blog again when I can smile (Maybe tomorrow???)

~~~Chow

I'll send this person free of charge...I will ship him back here free of charge....Oh yes he does a WONDERFUL job at what he does. Its enough to make you clamp your teeth together so tight you can feel them grinding away and gasp at the beautiful site.

OH yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you up for it??????

Didnt think so... My beautiful 2 year old son whom I love with my entire being and he is my entire world. But for the last 2 days I would love to sell him to the freakin gypsies.

Lastnight I was sitting in my chair and he was playing with his toys minding his business when I heard this noise. Not a good noise.....I turned around and he was colouring on the back of my beige living room chair with BLACK MAGIC MARKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I freakin lost my mind I was freakin out. I soaked it in hair spray and scrubbed for all I was worth and he is some lucky....It come out so whew.

THen today...oh yes today..

I have to wipe my dogs paws when he comes in because he's a big 60 pound pain in the ass who never fails to come in full of mud when he goes outside and I dont want it tracked though my house....From the living room I hear mommy I pooped...

Me: Its ok boo mommy will clean you up in minute
Boo: its on the couch mommy
Me: {Thinking its leaking out his diaper on got on the couch comfter} Its ok baby mommy will get it in a minute
Boo: Ok Mommy

Well I come back in the living room and clamped my teeth together and gasped and under my breath muttered what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is my precious 2 year old son COVERED in shit. My couch was COVERED in shit. It was on the wall, in his hair, his face, his arms, legs and feet wre covered. It was EVERYWHERE. I picked him up by the seat of his pants and the back of his shirt and put him in the tub clothes and all. Hosed him down and then stripped off the clothes and bathed him. After that I scrubbed the couch and wall. Jumped in the shower nad then started the laundry.

What a day!

You sure you dont wanna a decorater??????

~~~Chow

Well I figured since I hadn't blogged in a few days I had best scoot in and posting something. I've had a pounding headache for the past few days and its really starting to make me crazy. To add to the crazy shit bubble head come over tonight to show us her new "Blowjob juice" like I really wante to know but hubs was all ears. I've heard about such stuff before but honestly I personally have no use for it so I dont care to hear what effect it has. Well she was twirling her hair and yapping about it hubs kept asking when I was doing a sex shop run. I proceeded to tell him with the clouds spit gold coins. He just sighed and turned back to bubble head. After about 2 minutes he asked me again when I was going to the sex shop. I just gave him the evil eye. I'm curled up on the couch in my pj's and a blanket and boo is sleeping beside me. I look like I'm gonna get up and run to the sex shop for something for him right now right? NOT. I go back to watching my movie and he's again listening to airhead. For the third time he asked me again in which I looked at him. If you want some nice tasting lotion to rub on your pecker then YOU take the money and YOU go to the sex shop and YOU buy the damn shit. I'm not feeling well and I'm not going nowhere. He looks at me with a straight face. I dont wanna look gay. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have it in mind to fill his goddamn stocking with the shit. I was tempted to shove the juice up bubbleheads ass for bringing it over. I was also tempted to send hubs home with her and they could have fun with the juice and leave me in peace. I'm not very happy when I'm sick.

On a good note we started putting up our Christmas decorations tonight. We got most of our lights put up inside but that's about as far as we got. Tomorrow I wanna get the top of the entertainment center cleaned off and decorated. I was gonna put the tree up but I just can't do it because its too pathetic looking so I'm gonna wait and buy a new one around the 20th. So everything will be up but the tree. I'm a huge christmas person so I put the stuff up as early as I can

~~~Chow

Here is a rundown of the events on my street in the last SEVEN days.

1. Gas Can thieves
2. Car tire slashers
3. Sheds being broken into (atleast 4 that we know of)
4. 2 cars were stolen
5. A water pipe on the street beside me burst nearly flooding us all
6. The cop was stuck in the mud (leaving me in fits of laughter)
7. A guy was stabbed in the park across the street from me
8. Lastnight a freakin fire totally gutted out a house and caught the house beside it on fire

so tell me...what has possessed my street. I no longer live on Alfred Street..Nope nope nope....I live on ELM street. Yeah so tonight I expect to see Freddy freakin Kruger running up and down my street.

Its nuts. I would love to move off this haunted possessed street but funds just dont allow it. Not only do I have to come up with moving costs I have to transfer everything over like phone, satellite, internet and heat, hydro, yeah you get the picture. Just can't afford it. So until I win the fuckin 649 I'm stuck on a street from a horror movie....

In fact here's a little diddy for ya....Have you seen the movie silent hill???? Well folks that movie was taped in downtown of where I currently reside. Its about a 10 minute walk from my house as a matter of fact So now...Tell me that my town is freakin spooky.

~~~~Chow

PS....I'm have me a romp with Mr Campbell tonight ~ WHOOT WHOOT!!!!!!!!!!