Sassy's World
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Excuse me?? Do I really look that stupid?
Ok so last weekend hubs and I had to do some errands and we ran by the mall before hitting walmart. Boo loves the pet store in the mall so we tend to visit there quite often so he can see the ugliest reptiles on plant earth. So we take our time and walk through the store and I have learned my lesson on getting close to any aqaurium if I can't see what's it in. One time we were in there boo wanted to see what was in this bottom tank. So I squat down and looked and seen nothing...Then THWAP...the sumbitch come out from under a tree and smacked the glass. It was a HUGE mother of a snake. A boa I belive. It caused me to scream like you were tearing my limbs off and fall backwards on my ass. The entire store cracked up. Yeah laugh it up suckers!
So when we were there this past weekend and Boo asked what was in the tank and I took a quick glance and said nope, I'm not getting down to try and find anything. I dont care if its a tank full of gold I'm NOT doing. The pet store worker assured me there was no snakes (he remembered me from last time the asshole). I didnt care I was NOT squatting to look. Well me being the SUCKER that I am read the tank said some funky ass lizard so I figured what the hell and squat down. THWAP....The sumbitch hit the tank with his fuckin tail. Again I fell backwards this time I didnt scream. I will not do it a third time. Anywho the employee asked if I was interested in buying it...I looked at him like he was from another planet..."did you see what he just did to me???? And you want me to buy him????" Then I was told the price...499.99 FOR A LIZARD. So after I almost fainted from shock the guy tells me to check out another tank in which there was a tortoise. Yeah a middle sized ulgy tortoise with a price tag written on the aqaurium 3499.95
Me: You mean to tell me that its almost 4 grand for a freakin turtle
Him: Its a tortoise ma'am
Me: I dont give a holy hell what it is....4 THOUSAND DOLLARS?????
Him: well not exactly
Me: Close enough...I'm NOT paying 4 dollars for a tortoise never mind 4 with a few zeros unless that fuckin thing is shitting gold. If that's the case I'll be back tomorrow with your 4000.
THEN he tells me that I outta check out the birds if I think that 3499.95 for a tortise is alot of money. So I did just that..
We walk over and there is a beautiful white parrot like bird with a orange glob of feathers on his head. The bird talks to me then
"Hey sweetcheeks"
I looked at hubs...Oh I want this bird...
The employee says to me he's only 9995.95
This is where I choke
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A BIRD???????????????????????
Ok yeah granted the bird will live longer then me and all but I'm not paying that much for a bird and I dont care how nice of compliments he gives me, and he's gonna whisper sweet nothings in my ear.......
I looked at the employee...I didnt pay 10,000 for my husband I aint about to pay 10,000 for a fuckin bird...
Sheesh
~*~*~ CHOW~*~*~
So when we were there this past weekend and Boo asked what was in the tank and I took a quick glance and said nope, I'm not getting down to try and find anything. I dont care if its a tank full of gold I'm NOT doing. The pet store worker assured me there was no snakes (he remembered me from last time the asshole). I didnt care I was NOT squatting to look. Well me being the SUCKER that I am read the tank said some funky ass lizard so I figured what the hell and squat down. THWAP....The sumbitch hit the tank with his fuckin tail. Again I fell backwards this time I didnt scream. I will not do it a third time. Anywho the employee asked if I was interested in buying it...I looked at him like he was from another planet..."did you see what he just did to me???? And you want me to buy him????" Then I was told the price...499.99 FOR A LIZARD. So after I almost fainted from shock the guy tells me to check out another tank in which there was a tortoise. Yeah a middle sized ulgy tortoise with a price tag written on the aqaurium 3499.95
Me: You mean to tell me that its almost 4 grand for a freakin turtle
Him: Its a tortoise ma'am
Me: I dont give a holy hell what it is....4 THOUSAND DOLLARS?????
Him: well not exactly
Me: Close enough...I'm NOT paying 4 dollars for a tortoise never mind 4 with a few zeros unless that fuckin thing is shitting gold. If that's the case I'll be back tomorrow with your 4000.
THEN he tells me that I outta check out the birds if I think that 3499.95 for a tortise is alot of money. So I did just that..
We walk over and there is a beautiful white parrot like bird with a orange glob of feathers on his head. The bird talks to me then
"Hey sweetcheeks"
I looked at hubs...Oh I want this bird...
The employee says to me he's only 9995.95
This is where I choke
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A BIRD???????????????????????
Ok yeah granted the bird will live longer then me and all but I'm not paying that much for a bird and I dont care how nice of compliments he gives me, and he's gonna whisper sweet nothings in my ear.......
I looked at the employee...I didnt pay 10,000 for my husband I aint about to pay 10,000 for a fuckin bird...
Sheesh
~*~*~ CHOW~*~*~
posted by Sassy at 9:48 PM
9 Comments:
Shoot I'll give you a lot more compliments than that bird for a lot less than $10,000. My going rate is about $2500. LOL
um, u only thinks that bird is 10,000$.. Is ya forgetting the taxes they nail ya with?? Um like 13%??????? Hey sweetcheeks!!!!!!!!!!!! Me nerves
um, maybe just maybe the birdie would has been worth 10,000$. U see most men really isnt worth 10,000$ s if ya can gaet a bargain right???? rofl rofl rofl
my bad for that last comment...........me will go to me room if told to.......rofl
OMG ROFL...Thanks for the laugh. I am in tears picturing that scene!!
New Post Plz an Thx Sassy........LOL
Love that final comment! Some days I might make an even trade Husband for bird.
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