Sassy's World

Today I had the most waste of time converstaion I have EVER had in my entire life. I was talking to my dad on my front porch and bubble head from across the street comes over. All she has on is a pair of short shorts and a bikni top on. My dad has a grin from ear to ear *dirty old man*

Anywho....

She comes over and starts talking like she's been included in the conversation the entire time. Dad asked if she realized that it was October and that it was cold and she' was dressed for the freakin beach.

Her: well today is a holiday
Dad: It is?? If its a holdiay why the hell did i work?
Her: (Twirling her hair and smackin her gum) Like I dunno because its a holiday
Me: And what holiday is it???
Her; One where you can dress up like anything you want and get candy
Me: us?? as in adults?? or kids
Her: Anyone
Dad: and they close everything down for this?
Her: Well they should because everyone eats to much candy and then they are sick the next day and can't go to work
Dad: so we should get TWO days off?
Her: yes
Me: Alrighty then
Dad: You still didnt tell us the name of the holiday
Her: Duh Silly....its national we can eat too much candy day
Me (Freakin laughin my ass off) but it has a name..
Her: it does?
ME: YES HALLOWEEN
Her: no thats the holiday when you carve pumpkins (and she skipped off)

That was a huge waste of 20 minutes

Chow

Lastnight I was online doing whatever it was I was doing. And all of a sudden it decided to reboot. When it come back I had a nice black screen...

Error loading OS.....

WTF

What happened??

I have no idea but I bet if you looked out the window you might of seen my computer fly by. I kicked the computer desk stubbing my toe which led to me screaming profanities at the computer AND the desk. I was livid.

This morning I start calling places to find out how much its gonna cost to fix the freakin thing. 60 bucks not bad!

Chow

Yeah that was me for awhile tonight. I was sitting here in front of the computer ( like I'd be anywhere else right??) typing away when all of a sudden POOF. No power. Being afraid of the dark that SUCKS. Noone moves. I guess they are all waiting for me so just as I stand up so does hubs and bumps into almost sending me backwards over the couch. I bend down and pick up boos halloween flashlight off the floor. Aha! LIGHT! So I light some candles and grab the coleman lantern and we are in business. Just as boo starts to fall asleep the power comes back on and we are saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, while the power was out we had a knock at the door. I do the logical thing and answer the door, and honestly I would of rather had a pitchfork drove up my ass. This girl across the street is 22 years old and she is the biggest bubble headed blonde that you will ever meet. She wears the title dumb blonde really well. There is no street lights on, you can see all the flashlights in peoples house and MY house is pitch black except a few candles and a lamp

Her: Hey Sass. You know the power is out?
Me: Ah, no really??? I thought I went blind all of a sudden
Her: {Slaps my arm} Oh you silly girl, no it goes dark when the power goes out
Me: You dont freakin say (Hubs is in the living laughing his fool ass off to the point he's choking, Boo is standing beside me waving his flashlight)
Boo: we need flashlight cause we got no lights
Her: Yeah that's houses all went night night
Me: Please go home and join the house
And I shut the door. She has that dumb blonde way she talks to like she twirls her hair around her fingers and snaps her gum loud. I'd like to just shake the hell out of her but that would land me behind big thick bars.

OH OH OH...and another goodie for you. Ya'll know how much I love cops. They are just my favorite people in the whole wide world. Well today hubs, boo and I went and got family pictures done (please get me that pitchfork) anyway on the way home we are in a taxi (cause I have no car to drive now thanks to 21 year old assholes talkin on cell phones and speeding) and we go buy a street that right now is being torn up and is all dirt. We have had non stop rain for FIVE DAYS PEOPLE. Do you all see where I am going with this? Ahead of us is 2 cop cars blocking off the road so we have to get out of the taxi and walk in the pissin down rain because we can't get through. WELL. we look down the mud swamp to see TWO cop crusiers stuck in the mud. When I say stuck, I mean stuck....The wheels were in there good and the body of the car was starting to sink. OH shit I busted a gut laughing. Not one idiot ass cop but 2 done the samething. Then I look again and behind the 2 cars are 4 cops, 8-10 firefighters digging them out with shovels. I wanted to come home and get the camera and hubs wouldn't let me. Oh I thought I was gonna hurl I was laughing so hard. It was funny!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer ~~~ I'm not saying all cops are stupid, dumbass idiots. Just the ones we have here!

~~~Chow baby!

Well I really have nothing to blog about cause I'm sure you dont wanna hear that tomorrow I could be in jail for the possible hanging of my husband or the fact that I am more likely leaving him unless in the next 24 hours he does some serious growing up. So on that note I was tagged by Newfieswomangonenuts so here we go

1. One thing I've never done in front of an adult: Um, To be honest I dont think there is anything I haven't done in front of an adult.
.
2. One sport I wish I could do: Anything lol ~ I'm not very athletic

3. One thing I used to be able to do but have lost the ability to: be patient with my husband

4. One job I wish I could have had: Open my own daycare center

.5. One food I can't live without: Scalloped potatoes

6. One food I could easily live without forever: Spaghetti YUCK

7. One book I think is a classic: I dont really have one

8. One song I wish I'd written: well damn ~ Hmm, I dont really know, but I wish i could sing a song with Mr Joaquin Pheonix

9. One thing I wish I had more control over: The way my life is

10. thing I dislike about myself: only one??? well the fact that one child is it for me

11. One thing I admire about myself:. Nothing really...Then again, I admire the fact that I am a sarcastic asshole

12. One thing I would change about Canada:. Nothing ~ because I'd probably make it worse

13. One vehicle I hope to own someday: A dodge ram baby

14. One profession I have no respect for: Pimps, thugs anything in that bunch of people

15. One sexual activity I have never tried but want to: As long as you aren't stickin nothing in my ass ~ I"m game

.16. One sexual activity I have never tried and don't want to:. See above answer

17. One holiday I could live without: Valentines Day ~ Because its useless

18. One piece of clothing I can't live without: My jammie pants

19. One thing I'm afraid of: The dark and losing my son

.20. One thing I'm happy to have: My son

I tag whoever wants to do it :)

Well it seems the crime is working its way up. Last weekend were bugged to the eyes by cops about missing gas cans and this morning I was woke up by banging at the damn door at 6AM. I'm thinking someone better be dying if your knocking on my door this early people. Dog is barking, Boo is screaming and I'm tired. I hear hubs answer the door and then I hear a deep male voice. I go to the top of the stairs and peep over to see cops. WTF. I went back to bed and pulled the covers over my head and mumbled to myself. What I mumbled I have no idea. After the cops left hubs come up to tell me that 24-38 tires were slashed on the vehicles on the road. Makes me some damn glad I dont own anything with wheels because I would of been hunting the tire slashers down and slashing their private parts.

Chow

I'm now hoarse from yelling at this fricken blogger site. The backgrounds frankly suck and I'mthinsclose to says SCREW BLOGGING! I want to be able to find me a nice ground like I use to be able to do with plain old blogger. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I CAN DO THIS????

Please I"m on my knees begging for help.

Chow

It appears my neighbourhood has a gas can theif. The cops have been to my house everyday for the last 3 days asking if I've seen missing gas cans...Me being the angelic little girl that I am just shakes my head and shuts my door.

YEAH RIGHT

I dont miss a chance to be a scarcastic asshole and I do it with pride! Oh Yes I Do. The cop asked me this afternoon if I've seen the missing gas can. in which I answer, and what does it look like? The cop just looked at me with blank stare and said, A gas can. Without missing a beat I said to the cop, what was it last seen wearing. He just looked at me, I guess you haven't seen it in which I shook my head wished him a wonderful afternoon and closed my door. Why oh why would someone wanna steal empty gas cans??? If I'm going down for stealing something its gonna be better then a fricken gas can. Sheesh!

Anywho the cold weather is upon us and yesterday it was snowing, raining, hailng and windy. In which I got yet another headache. I've had a headache now for the last week everyday and the last time this happened I had a migrane like headache for 22 days straight and come pretty damn clothes to stabbing myself in the temple with the first sharp thing I could find. Then I look at my demonic spawn and think twice about it. If I end up with a freakin 22 day headache again I'm gonna jump off a freakin cliff.

Well I'm off now to try and rid a headache, might even do the unthinkable and crawl in bed with boo for a nap who know

Chow

I've been fighting with these idiots to get my child tax credit for TWO fricken years and they finally start to get their act together. Today I was SUPPOSE to get the money for the month plus what they owe me for the first year of Boo's life. WELL I spent all day waiting for my money and nothing, nada.....zip and the fuckers didnt even have the decency to pick up the phone and call me and let me know. Oh no, I wait and finally pickup the phone and call them. You know what they tell me?????? They mailed out a cheque for 78.00 and let me tell you I was suppose to get like more then 10 times that amount. I'm like WTF. They tell me there is an overpayment. How in blue bloody blazes can their be an over payment when my son is only 2 and you've given me his money twice???? No response from the assholes. They mailed the money TODAY. I'm suppose to recieve it today and they mail it out today. How nice of them.

chow

But that's not happening so I'm gonna go wallow in self pity now

Chow

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.

The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.

She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it."

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled."Well, when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

Makes for a very bummed out woman lol. I dont miss the hubs cause he drives fricken crazy within 2 minutes of being around me. Love him to death and all but I am some glad he works night.

Boo went to my mom's for the night and I'm totally lost. So I'm just sitting back, drinking some Baileys and hanging out. But the silence....Oh the silence is killing me. Ah well, he'll be back tomorrow driving me nutso.

So the phone rang tonight....I picked it up......and then this.......

Me: 'ello
Them; Is Mz Sassy there please
Me: Depends on who wants to know
Them: Its Joey and I'm calling from blahblahblah windows {He mumbled so I was lost}
Me: Um. And......
Them: I'm calling to see if we can interest you in purchasing some windows
Me: I um have windows thanks
Them: Oh well, would you like some new ones??
Me: Sure if they free, because if they cost money I'm not interested
Them: No they are between 200-500 a window.
Me: Well then no thanks
Them: Are you sure?
Me: Let me think.....Yup I'm sure
Them: We offer free instalation
Me; Oh Yippee yafuckinhoo. You want me to pay a arm and 5 legs for windows and your going to instal them for me? THanks but no thanks
Them: We can maybe cut a deal??
Me: What part of I dont want your windows are you NOT understanding.
Them: You need windows ma'am
Me: I HAVE WINDOWS WITH NICE PRETTY CURTAINS. I DONT WANT YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click

Why dont people listen, I said no, I mean no, I should move into a fricken teepee, they dont have windows

Chow

have you ever had the feeling that someone you think of as a good friend is giving you the cold shoulder? It could just be the fact that I feel guilty about the wreck and that I generally suffer depression and take medication for it and because of the accident the depression has gotten alot worse I really dont know. All I know is that I have a feeling a friendship is going down a lonly road to gonesville.

I switched over to this blogger beta and I really wish I hadn't of. I use to be able to do funky backgrounds and stuff for my template and now I haven't the foggiest clue on how to do it. Maybe I should just give up trying huh??

Anywho,
Chow

What am I gonna blog about??? Nothing has happened. No telemarketers have called. Gee, pretty boring huh sooooo I'm gonna follow a few other readers and say leave me something in my comments to do ~ Meme's are good, I love em. oh and if you know any side splitting blogs that are a must read. Please let me know :)

Chow

I promise not to move again unless I buy my own website but decided that my home was here on Blogger because I know how to do everything here. I can't post pictures or nothing on the other blog so I said frig it, I've had enough. I packed my shit and moved back to blogger.

So yeah, I'm here again

Chow