Sassy's World
Friday, February 09, 2007
You want me to stick that....Where?
The other night blondie come over and I asked if I wanted to "hang" out with her. I just gave her a look of "why the hell would I wanna do that". Before I got a chance to really say anything she said oh it will be fun and we will have a few good laughs. I was starting to get scared. What the hell was she gonna do to me. I still stood there with that confused look on my face. That's when she said "we are gonna go to the sex shop"
WHAT?!?!?! You want me to where with you. She repeated it again. The Sex shop. I thought about it for a minute and then thought that this could be a whole of fun. So I agree and she tells me will go around 6:30..sweet I'll be ready.
Her "man" of the week drives us there and we are standing outside the store and I'm kinda second guessing going in cause I'm a bit of afaid of what's gonna happen in there. I get my shit together and in we go.
WALL TO WALL Shit! Our sex shops here in my town aren't all that shit hot. This one people was HUGE. I read a sign and my god I wanted to run. The sign had an arrow pointing to the left side of the store. Below the arrow read "LIVE DEMONSTRATION ON HOW TO HIT THE G SPOT" Live??? What the fuck?!? We decide that we are not going in and I can't say I was too upset about it.
Blondie spots something that interests her and she starts squealing like she is doing the G Spot demonstration which has now got a zillion eyes on her. I walk over to see what she's ooh and ahhing over and in her hand she's holding a Diving Dolphin and she's squealing how much she loves dolphins. I'm like yeah I love them too but its not that thing is for show. She asks her boyfriend what do you do with it. He proceeds to tell her it will vibrate the pair of them and sex will be awesome. In the basket it goes.
I wandered off lookin around and they got some pretty weird stuff in there. Hanging from the celing is a freakin chair used for sex and the toys...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the toys. I hear blondie squeal again. So off I trot to see what treasure she has come across now. Now she's holding a Graduated butt plug. She looks at me with a oh so serious look on her face "where did it graduate from?" Out of my mouth comes "UCLA" She then says "Oh so that would be a good one, its smart" In the basket it goes. I roll my eyes and keep going and she stumbles across anal beads and loud enough for the people in Japan to hear she screams "THEY COME IN ALL COLOURS" I kinda giggled and said "yeah it goes on the theme of your bedroom" so she put some purple and blue in the basket. I'm guessing they are the colours of her room.
Her boyfriend all the while is stuffing stuff in the basket as is she and its getting pretty full. He pulls off this shelf and anal wand and her eyes went big as saucers and she had a look on her face that she was kinda scared. I leaned into her..."Your gonna stick a anal bead in your ass but a wand scares you?" she said ohhhhhhhhh it goes there...I'm like where did you think it went...
No answer.
Her boyfriend says we are getting ready to leave cause he has spent enough on toys and lotions for awhile and she picks up a strap on. She's looking at it like its alive and she says to me "What do you do with this" I thought quick and said..."You strap it to your forehead and still up your mans ass" She looked at me....silence....."YOU WANT ME TO STICK THAT WHERE" The whole damn store looked at us. I was busting at the seams, tears were streaming down my face, I was snorting...It was hilarious. She comes over and stands next to me. " I dont want my face that close to his ass" I laughed harder...I couldn't stop and I thought I was gonna puke.
I dont think I'm gonna be going back to any sex shop with her too soon. When we left the store her boyfriend was now 600.00 in debt with sex toys and his face was as red as a cherry. We get in the car and he looks at me "Do you know when to control your smart ass remarks?"
No my friend I dont!
*~*Chow*~*
WHAT?!?!?! You want me to where with you. She repeated it again. The Sex shop. I thought about it for a minute and then thought that this could be a whole of fun. So I agree and she tells me will go around 6:30..sweet I'll be ready.
Her "man" of the week drives us there and we are standing outside the store and I'm kinda second guessing going in cause I'm a bit of afaid of what's gonna happen in there. I get my shit together and in we go.
WALL TO WALL Shit! Our sex shops here in my town aren't all that shit hot. This one people was HUGE. I read a sign and my god I wanted to run. The sign had an arrow pointing to the left side of the store. Below the arrow read "LIVE DEMONSTRATION ON HOW TO HIT THE G SPOT" Live??? What the fuck?!? We decide that we are not going in and I can't say I was too upset about it.
Blondie spots something that interests her and she starts squealing like she is doing the G Spot demonstration which has now got a zillion eyes on her. I walk over to see what she's ooh and ahhing over and in her hand she's holding a Diving Dolphin and she's squealing how much she loves dolphins. I'm like yeah I love them too but its not that thing is for show. She asks her boyfriend what do you do with it. He proceeds to tell her it will vibrate the pair of them and sex will be awesome. In the basket it goes.
I wandered off lookin around and they got some pretty weird stuff in there. Hanging from the celing is a freakin chair used for sex and the toys...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the toys. I hear blondie squeal again. So off I trot to see what treasure she has come across now. Now she's holding a Graduated butt plug. She looks at me with a oh so serious look on her face "where did it graduate from?" Out of my mouth comes "UCLA" She then says "Oh so that would be a good one, its smart" In the basket it goes. I roll my eyes and keep going and she stumbles across anal beads and loud enough for the people in Japan to hear she screams "THEY COME IN ALL COLOURS" I kinda giggled and said "yeah it goes on the theme of your bedroom" so she put some purple and blue in the basket. I'm guessing they are the colours of her room.
Her boyfriend all the while is stuffing stuff in the basket as is she and its getting pretty full. He pulls off this shelf and anal wand and her eyes went big as saucers and she had a look on her face that she was kinda scared. I leaned into her..."Your gonna stick a anal bead in your ass but a wand scares you?" she said ohhhhhhhhh it goes there...I'm like where did you think it went...
No answer.
Her boyfriend says we are getting ready to leave cause he has spent enough on toys and lotions for awhile and she picks up a strap on. She's looking at it like its alive and she says to me "What do you do with this" I thought quick and said..."You strap it to your forehead and still up your mans ass" She looked at me....silence....."YOU WANT ME TO STICK THAT WHERE" The whole damn store looked at us. I was busting at the seams, tears were streaming down my face, I was snorting...It was hilarious. She comes over and stands next to me. " I dont want my face that close to his ass" I laughed harder...I couldn't stop and I thought I was gonna puke.
I dont think I'm gonna be going back to any sex shop with her too soon. When we left the store her boyfriend was now 600.00 in debt with sex toys and his face was as red as a cherry. We get in the car and he looks at me "Do you know when to control your smart ass remarks?"
No my friend I dont!
*~*Chow*~*
posted by Sassy at 3:54 PM
4 Comments:
You strap it to your forehead.....
yep- that's what I would have said!
That was hilarious. You should go back there with her all the time. You can get such enjoyment and entertainment out of it.
Those places crack me up anyway. All the shit they come up with. All the movie titles. It's all hilarious.
Oh, thats just too funny. She gives the meanin 'dumb blonde' and whole new meanin. ME NERVES!!!! You told her to 'strap it to yer forehead' and she beleived you?? Saints preserve us. Me agree with Jay.. Go there all the time with her. Think of the stories???? WHOOT WHOOT......Just too funny!!!
Just think of the things ya mights find in a sex shop? God help us!!!! An she is dumb enough to beleive whatever you tell her soooooooo.... rofl
Hey girly.....Nice little set of digs ya gots yerself set up in....Loves the new look :) ;)
Now that yer all fancy an stuff ya not gonna forget us little people on yer way to the top eh?? ;) ;) lol lol
In all seriousness, its a nice look..
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