Sassy's World
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I miss my papa!
6 years ago today I got a call I wish I hadnt gotten. Gramma called me to tell me that the man who meant the world to me had died. I was crushed. I put on a brave game face for my gramma cause I knew mom and I were really all she had left. Gramma has 5 kids but mom is about the only that has time for her.
Gramma and papa were not legally married. They had been together since 1972 and I was born in 1978 so he was there my entire life. Mom had me at 19 and being young her and my dad had issues and what not so gramma and papa stepped up to help raise me. Papa never had kids so I quickly became his little girl. My dad had a drug problem which caused him to be a father not a dad. He was there in body but really didnt have time to be there as my dad. He worked and hung with friends and dont get me wrong he spent time with mom and I just not as much as he should. I started going to my gramma and papa on weekend and then it was a couple nights during the week as well and before long mom would have to call and ask for me back lol. Papa bought a cottage up in buckhorn and called it the Lisa Marie after me. (yeah yeah now you all know my name). He bought a boat and called it Papas little girl again after me. I was spoiled. They took me places, did things with me, I had tons of fun with them. Papa was a trucker driver and use to go on 2 week hauls and I would stand in the door proud as a peacock cause my papa drove an 18 wheeler but sad as ever cause he was leaving me for 2 weeks.
As time went on Papa started having problems with the blood circulation in his legs when he hit 55 so he had to stop truck driving 1990. Him and gramma still spent oodles of time with me. I use to go there for lunch because they lived around the cornor from my school. I went after school to see them, I calledthem every night to say I love you and good night. I looked forward to Christmas so that I Could see him open his gifts. There was tons of grand children but for some reason I was Papa's girl. Only 3 of us were born after gramma got with papa. My cousin was in and out of foster care so it was hard and my little brother was sick with kidney problems so he wanted my mom all the time and he cried 23 hours a day so mom didnt send him to many places.
Papa started getting really sick in 1997. He was in and out of the hospital and everytime the phone rang I Thought I was getting "the call" I lived on eggshells. I didnt want him to leave me. I loved him so much but yet I couldn't go and see him in the hospital. I would call him and tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me but I couldn't come. He said he understood..but did he? or did he just tell me that so I wouldn't hurt??? Well he come home after a few months and I had a hard time leaving him. Afraid that if I left he'd be gone before I got back. It was causing problems between my boyfriend and I at the time which resulted in me getting pissed off and leaving him. I went to collage but couldn't concentrate. Papa was home sick and my mom was with a loser low life asshole and I was afraid I was gonna get a call that papa had passed away or that mom or my brother had been killed. I quit college after a year and come home.
In 1999 I met hubs. He understood my love for papa and had no objections to me spending as much time with him as I could. He even went over with me alot to be with them. The day papa looked at hubs and said "you take care of my little girl after I'm gone" I broke down. I sat on the floor by papas legs and rocked back and forth and cried like a baby. I was 20 years old and had a rocky life up until then. my mom wasn't around much after her and my dad split up but I always had papa.
The Christmas of 2000 Papa was sick. He told everyone he was gonna go to the bedroom and stay there cause he was inconvience. I got upset and told Papa that he would never be one to me and fuck the rest of the family. The family left and I sat and drank with papa and talked about growing up. Papa always told me he wouldn't die on me before he turned 70 and if papa made a promise to me, it never got broken. Papa was born September 7 1930.
March 7th 2001 I was upstairs cleaning the master bathroom, mom was in the basement cleaning her room ( she lived with hubs and I) and hubs was sleeping. It was 11:08am and the phone was ringing. I ran to answer it and it was gramma, papa had been in teh hopsital the past 2 months and had gotten pnemonia. Gramma asked if I had mom's van and I said yeah but mom was home anyways what did she want. She asked us if we could come and pick her up,. She was in Paris which is about 15 minutes from us (its the hospital papa was in). I said yeah I'll come get ya just let me throw some clothes on....
Dead silence....
Gramma are you there?!?!?!?!
Papa died at 11:00am excactly Sassy...Calm as can be I said we'll be there soon but hang on I'll get mom. I ran down and told mom "Gramma's on the phone and papa died" went back to my room sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. Hubs woke up and asked me what was going on and I todl him. He looked at me and said "I got suspended from work at the right time"
Papa never lied to me in his entire life. He died exactly 6 months after he turned 70.
I miss you papa!! I'll see you again one day
Love papa's little girl
Gramma and papa were not legally married. They had been together since 1972 and I was born in 1978 so he was there my entire life. Mom had me at 19 and being young her and my dad had issues and what not so gramma and papa stepped up to help raise me. Papa never had kids so I quickly became his little girl. My dad had a drug problem which caused him to be a father not a dad. He was there in body but really didnt have time to be there as my dad. He worked and hung with friends and dont get me wrong he spent time with mom and I just not as much as he should. I started going to my gramma and papa on weekend and then it was a couple nights during the week as well and before long mom would have to call and ask for me back lol. Papa bought a cottage up in buckhorn and called it the Lisa Marie after me. (yeah yeah now you all know my name). He bought a boat and called it Papas little girl again after me. I was spoiled. They took me places, did things with me, I had tons of fun with them. Papa was a trucker driver and use to go on 2 week hauls and I would stand in the door proud as a peacock cause my papa drove an 18 wheeler but sad as ever cause he was leaving me for 2 weeks.
As time went on Papa started having problems with the blood circulation in his legs when he hit 55 so he had to stop truck driving 1990. Him and gramma still spent oodles of time with me. I use to go there for lunch because they lived around the cornor from my school. I went after school to see them, I calledthem every night to say I love you and good night. I looked forward to Christmas so that I Could see him open his gifts. There was tons of grand children but for some reason I was Papa's girl. Only 3 of us were born after gramma got with papa. My cousin was in and out of foster care so it was hard and my little brother was sick with kidney problems so he wanted my mom all the time and he cried 23 hours a day so mom didnt send him to many places.
Papa started getting really sick in 1997. He was in and out of the hospital and everytime the phone rang I Thought I was getting "the call" I lived on eggshells. I didnt want him to leave me. I loved him so much but yet I couldn't go and see him in the hospital. I would call him and tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me but I couldn't come. He said he understood..but did he? or did he just tell me that so I wouldn't hurt??? Well he come home after a few months and I had a hard time leaving him. Afraid that if I left he'd be gone before I got back. It was causing problems between my boyfriend and I at the time which resulted in me getting pissed off and leaving him. I went to collage but couldn't concentrate. Papa was home sick and my mom was with a loser low life asshole and I was afraid I was gonna get a call that papa had passed away or that mom or my brother had been killed. I quit college after a year and come home.
In 1999 I met hubs. He understood my love for papa and had no objections to me spending as much time with him as I could. He even went over with me alot to be with them. The day papa looked at hubs and said "you take care of my little girl after I'm gone" I broke down. I sat on the floor by papas legs and rocked back and forth and cried like a baby. I was 20 years old and had a rocky life up until then. my mom wasn't around much after her and my dad split up but I always had papa.
The Christmas of 2000 Papa was sick. He told everyone he was gonna go to the bedroom and stay there cause he was inconvience. I got upset and told Papa that he would never be one to me and fuck the rest of the family. The family left and I sat and drank with papa and talked about growing up. Papa always told me he wouldn't die on me before he turned 70 and if papa made a promise to me, it never got broken. Papa was born September 7 1930.
March 7th 2001 I was upstairs cleaning the master bathroom, mom was in the basement cleaning her room ( she lived with hubs and I) and hubs was sleeping. It was 11:08am and the phone was ringing. I ran to answer it and it was gramma, papa had been in teh hopsital the past 2 months and had gotten pnemonia. Gramma asked if I had mom's van and I said yeah but mom was home anyways what did she want. She asked us if we could come and pick her up,. She was in Paris which is about 15 minutes from us (its the hospital papa was in). I said yeah I'll come get ya just let me throw some clothes on....
Dead silence....
Gramma are you there?!?!?!?!
Papa died at 11:00am excactly Sassy...Calm as can be I said we'll be there soon but hang on I'll get mom. I ran down and told mom "Gramma's on the phone and papa died" went back to my room sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. Hubs woke up and asked me what was going on and I todl him. He looked at me and said "I got suspended from work at the right time"
Papa never lied to me in his entire life. He died exactly 6 months after he turned 70.
I miss you papa!! I'll see you again one day
Love papa's little girl
posted by Sassy at 11:39 AM
13 Comments:
Sassy he knows you miss him . And he's watching over you and knows how much you miss him. Me doesnt know if it's any comfort but he knows. And he's not sick no more either, right?? He'll be at the Pearly's waiting for ya with his arms open and a smile TELLING god, get outta me way, that's me little girl!! ;)
So sorry for yer lose
That was a really sweet memorial to him. Like Newfies said, he's still with you and watching over you.
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I feel sooooo sorry for you and some day you will be with your papa again and you will be soooo happy together and I was born in 1978 to we could be friends and I live in galoton tlip grove 1489 that was my adress
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